Does rapport matter? Hell yeah.

Even with high value, complex or technical products and services where it’s the product and service that matters, not the salesperson, does rapport still matter then? Absolutely!

• Rapport oils the wheels of relaxed conversation, so you can better understand the customer
• Rapport builds customer intimacy and trust
• Rapport frames how the customer feels about what you say
• Rapport makes customers more receptive to your messaging
• Rapport can make the customer want to buy or keep buying from you

Rapport – a close and harmonious relationship in which people understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well – is a complex thing but understanding and mastering rapport is one of the key challenges of personal customer service.

Here’s some tips:

Tailor your conversation starters

Use open questions wherever possible. They are engaging where statements can be dismissive and closed questions such as ‘Can I help you with anything?’ can too often bring a closed ‘no’ response.

Asking ‘how’s your day going?’, or ‘how was your weekend?’ will work fine for most people, especially extroverts but be careful that a significant minority of people, including but not limited to introverts, may find such questions frustrating or intrusive. It’s OK to ask such questions once, but don’t continue to ask variations of such questions if they obviously aren’t interested.

Specific questions often work well if they are relevant ‘Were you able to find us and park OK?’ ‘Can I help you find anything?’ or alternatively a safer bet in a service situation might be ‘What can I help you with today?’ or similar.

The more you know about a customer, the more you might feel confident in asking more personal questions but don’t dive in too soon; earn the right.
Learn to read customers and tailor your conversation starters to suit.

Display open, positive body language

Smile. Maintain eye contact when you are speaking and listening. Turn your body towards them and lean slightly forwards. All this behaviour, with some common-sense moderation, invites and encourages the customer to build rapport with you.

Do all the above even when you are on the phone. If you can’t look them in the eye, visualise them and imagine you are looking at them. And yes, you can hear a smile on the phone.

Practice active listening

Don’t try too hard to build rapport. Sometimes the best thing you can do is just shut up and listen, always try to listen more than you talk.

Show you are truly listening to your customers by:

• Maintaining eye contact and nodding your head occasionally
• Not interrupting
• Giving them your whole attention and minimising distractions
• Making affirmative noises: ‘uh-huh’ ‘yeah’
• Paraphrasing
• Asking insightful follow-up questions

Understand and moderate your personal rapport instincts

Everyone has slightly different instincts in how they like to build rapport. Some are extroverts, some are introverts. Some are focused on opportunities, some on risks. Some believe in positive politeness (offering help) and some in negative politeness (don’t intrude!). Some of these differences are cultural and some individual.

Most people can cope with such differences, but if you operate at one extreme (you are very risk focused for example), you risk a rapport clash with someone with other instincts.

Learn to understand your rapport instincts so you can limit the risk of rapport clashes.

Manage the risk of introvert/extrovert rapport clashes

One of the most commonly cited rapport clashes is between introverts and extroverts.
It isn’t that introverts don’t value rapport: studies show that introverts have a greater need for, and are often better at developing real meaningful relationships than extroverts. The problem is that introverts aren’t interested in, and are uncomfortable with, the superficial chat that comes with initial conversation.

When dealing with introverts, you will build rapport quicker if you avoid personal questions and superficial chat until you have got to know them better. Instead, focus on business and build rapport naturally over time rather than forcing it. Listen more than you talk.

– Giles